Date Movie
If I had seen this being made, I would have taken a meat tenderizer to his balls.

Theatrical Release Date: 02/17/2006
Director: Aaron Seltzer
Cast: Alyson Hannigan, Adam Campbell

(For the purposes of this little rantfest, I (Ian Forbes) will write in blue, Full Force in green and Blue Meanie in normal text.)

As I sometimes refuse to see a movie because I feel like watching it might actually cause lasting physical and mental anguish, I probably (actually) will NEVER see “Date Movie”.

Unfortunately, a friend of mine (Let’s call him “Blue Meanie”) has gotten himself married and as such every once in a while must submit to his wife’s will and suffer through some real crap; in-laws, remembering anniversaries, and watching horrible cinema. Here is his concise, yet poignant take on the movie:

Please, PLEASE don’t waste your time on Date Movie. I was HOPING it would be one of those movies where you go in with REALLY LOW expectations and it ends up being funny….nope. You go in with REALLY LOW expectations and you come out thinking “wow, that movie was everything I thought it would be, and less”. The movie seriously makes the Scary Movie franchise look like the Godfather Trilogy of comedy.

SuperSUCK.

I think I’m beginning to see how he felt about the movie. Another friend of mine (We’ll call him “Full Force”) had a response to this and investigated the merits of the film on the Information Superhighway. Here is his take on “Date Movie”:

You (Blue Meanie”) saw ‘Date Movie’? Why can’t you just hand me the money if you want to throw it away? :) Though this movie does seem to be good for one thing – it’s getting universally panned on IMDb, and it’s funny to go through the comments and see one-star review after one-star review. Here are the headings of the first ten, exactly as they appear on the site:

- A Complete Waste Of Time
- Easily the worst parody I’ve ever seen.
- Absolutely terrible
- the worst movie ever written
- 2 of 6 writers of Scary Movie series?
- Maybe they needed the other 4 Scary Movie writers
- worst movie ever?
- Pretty awful…
- Not funny
- Crap

Truer words may never have been said. All that taken into account, I think I can safely declare “Date Movie” an utter piece of excrement and award it an honorary 0 out of 5 and recommend buying your hammers in bulk from a hardware superstore to save money. And a special thanks to “Blue Meanie” and “Full Force” for their investigative reporting and intestinal fortitude.