No, really. Our performances are as wooden as this boat.

Theatrical Release Date: 07/28/2006
Director: Woody Allen
Cast: Hugh Jackman, Scarlett Johansson, Woody Allen , Ian McShane, Romola Garai

Following up with another London-set film starring Scarlett Johansson, Woody Allen decided to try and mix it up this time in “Scoop” and make a murder mystery comedy thingy.

I gave him some credit for his last effort, “Match Point” and he obviously doesn’t want any more from me because “Scoop” is terrible.

I’m not going to waste time with this one. First, there is WAY too much Woody in this film. His neurotic babbling has never worked for me. It still doesn’t.

Second, Scarlett seems to be doing an impersonation of a paperweight. I don’t know why the character is so flat and drab, the script is the first thing I’d blame, but this character is so dull, I was barely turned on by the lovely Ms. Johansson.

Ian McShane, fresh off all of his street cred for his turn in the HBO series, “Deadwood” manages to come off as over the top and more crazy than spooky. The comely Romola Garai is a breath of fresh air in the film but not nearly enough to keep me engaged. And Hugh Jackman continues his stiff upper lip / high society thing and I’m not interested.

The script is inane. The plot is so simple a 6th grader could have written it. The acting is less than inspired. The audience should ask for their money back.

I’m giving “Scoop” a 1 out of 5. If Woody hadn’t placed himself all over this film, then it might have eked out a 2 but I personally just don’t get what’s so funny about this rambling mess of a man. Maybe it’s a New York thing.