Day Watch
So this is a Russian mail order bride … Where the hell are my stamps?

Theatrical Release Date: 01/01/2006 (Russia), 06/01/2007 (USA)
Director: Timur Bekmambetov
Cast: Konstantin Khabensky, Mariya Poroshina, Galina Tyunina

After what seemed like an inordinately long time to come about, the sequel to “Night Watch” has finally escaped the Iron Curtain and landed stateside.

“Day Watch” picks up a little after the last film left off, as not only have the Dark Others gained an individual of great power, but the Light Others have one of their own.

Of course, the idea is that if the two ever confront one another, the truce between the two sides will be broken and the end of the world will begin.

Got that?

Look, there’s a whole butt-ton of plot that would take a few years to explain. So I’m not going to. I might have if I had been more satisfied with this film but I thought it was a huge let down.

That’s sad because I really liked the first film. While there were plenty of budgetary issues and it was a tad confusing at times, I thought it presented a more unique fantasy world than we commonly get from the studio machine.

Also, it used ultra-cool subtitles that moved and changed colors and dissipated all according to the action and emotion on screen. Bringing this back was a very good step towards keeping me happy.

However, that was about the only thing besides the theater playing a t.A.T.u. song beforehand to put a smile on my face over the course of the two-hour runtime.

With “Day Watch”, the plot wandered and I was never really sure what elements were central to the story.

Sure, some of the effects were interesting and I freakin’ love the “super ball of hate” as I have coined it. At one point, it splits into what I termed the “buckshot of hate” and levels Moscow. That’s very, very cool.

But I need more than fun effects sometimes and would have really liked a more focused story, for some of the scenes to make a lot more sense and for the complete removal of certain scenes.

At one point, the main character switches bodies with another person in an attempt to evade arrest. Of course, he switches with a girl and after revealing to his love interest what has happened, they do what we all would have done: make out in the shower.

It was all done with the subtlety of a sledgehammer to your skull … right now, that’s kind of tempting really.

Those seven of you who saw the first film and were looking forward to this are in for a rude awakening. Both Elizabeth Edgemont and I guffawed at the same points and left with the same general sense of confusion and disappointment.

I wish I could have better news but “Day Watch” can only get a 2 out of 5 from me and I have to admit that while I will watch the final installment in the trilogy (whenever Lenin gets out of his tomb and brings it over), I’m not necessarily looking forward to it.