This is what happens when actors have too much time in-between scenes.

Theatrical Release Date: 06/29/2007
Director: Lajos Koltai
Cast: Claire Danes, Toni Collette, Vanessa Redgrave, Patrick Wilson, Hugh Dancy, Natasha Richardson

The last time I checked, I was a member of the male half of our species. Going to see films like “Evening” fill me with self doubt … but after a quick trip to the restroom, I’m reminded of the truth and will just get on with this review.

“Evening” comes from the same author of “The Hours” and to call this a chick flick isn’t even close to speaking the whole truth.

I realized that the general demographic was female but upon exiting the theater, I realized I was the only guy in the audience. Not even one husband or boyfriend got dragged to this, it was just me and a lot of women … which is good from one angle but this film also skews to the older set so I wasn’t all that encouraged.

In any case, the film tells the tale of a woman (Redgrave) on her death bed reminiscing about the only man she ever really loved and her two daughters (Collette and Natasha Richardson) trying to measure their own fulfillment in life.

The acting is good all around, though I’m still a bit baffled by the success of Patrick Wilson. He had a featured role in last year’s “Little Children” and another here, in both of which he plays the hunk.

Do women really want their men to be so bland and simple? Hugh Dancy was the other choice for Danes (playing the younger version of Redgrave) and his character is made out to be childish and in need of some maturation but at least he had a sense of life about him.

Wilson’s character was so rigid and lifeless. All I learned is that women would rather have a man who could physically protect them and would silently love them in “ways only they could see” instead of a man who would truly love them and could fill their days with joy rather than stoic longing.

The rest of the film unfolds quite predictably and this is something I’d expect to see on Lifetime in the near future. I could probably dissect some scenes but I just don’t see the point as this film is done as if it were paint by numbers.

If you’re a woman interested in the idea that your mother had a life before you or you are a woman old enough to remember when TVs only came in black and white, then this is the movie for you.

If you’ve got a Y chromosome, kiss your mate goodbye at the theater doors and check out something else while she’s watching this.

I’m going to give “Evening” a 3 out of 5 because it delivers on its intended premise … though that’s not to say I particularly enjoyed or related to it … because after all, I am a guy. Stop that snickering!