I Now Prounouce You Chuck and Larry
I’m really allergic to cats … but in this case, being able to breathe is over-rated.

Theatrical Release Date: 07/20/2007
Director: Dennis Dugan
Cast: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Jessica Biel

When I first heard about this film while it was in production, I was worried it might just come across as homophobic and use offensive stereotypes in an attempt at cheap laughs. Sometimes, it’s just no fun to be right so often.

I can see that there was an attempt by Sandler and the filmmakers to turn this into something sweet overall but it just didn’t work for me.

The jokes are insipid and if they aren’t outright offensive, they’re just not funny. It doesn’t help that I’ve never been much of a Kevin James fan (though I find it comically ironic that he’s in this film after being on the sitcom “The King of Queens”).

The basic premise revolves around two straight male firefighters who want the benefits of a civil union and so they arrange to be married to each other. Of course, there are checks within the bureaucratic system to root out fraud and so they are put under scrutiny, in the form of astronomically hot Jessica Biel. Hilarity does not ensue … though my pants feel tighter for some reason.

If you like making fun of gay people, then this film might resonate. If you’re a tolerant person, not so much.

The only redeeming factor to the film is seeing Biel in a catsuit and in her bra and panties. That may sound like enough to let the rest of the film pass … sorry, I had something coherent to say and then I thought of those scenes.

Look, I’m not going to bother dissecting the shortcomings of the direction, script or acting. This movie is terrible and I would never watch it again … unless it was muted and involved Jessica Biel in various states of undress … but from a reviewing standpoint I can’t let that factor into just how unfunny and distasteful this film is.

It took me very little time to figure out that “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” should get a 0 out of 5, since it’s both offensive and boring. That being said, excuse me while I go use the select-a-scene feature on the DVD.