Shrek the Third
Well, if you insist, Gingerbread Man. I am a bit peckish.

Theatrical Release Date: 05/18/2007
Director: Chris Miller & Raman Hui
Featuring the Voices of: Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas & a list too long to shake a stick at.

In this summer sea of trilogy finales comes “Shrek the Third”. More like “Shrek the Turd” … I know, I’m an idiot.

Well, if you didn’t like that joke, you’re going to laugh even less at the latest installment in the Scottish Ogre franchise.

The whole gang is back from the first two films and they have to stop Prince Charming from becoming King and ruining the land of Far, Far Away. Ooh, fancy.

I’m okay with the fact that the plot is ultra-simple. I don’t need Shakespeare in my cartoons. But by this point, I am so very tired of anachronistic kid’s films.

I liked the original “Shrek”. It was fun and irreverent.

“Shrek 2″ continued walking that path aimlessly, with an insidiously boring plot, and I found the series lacking at that point.

The idea of making another film in the series was inevitable (and annoying), thanks to the Hollywood machine, and while “Shrek 3″ isn’t as bad as its predecessor, it doesn’t stand up to the original either.

By now, the whole idea that beloved fairy tale creatures are like real people today, rather than their semblances in the books we all were read as kids, is passé.

It’s been done over and over again and I’m bored with it. You’ll see the jokes coming and much of the music used in the film offended me, as good songs were ruined by being linked to bad scenes.

I’m not saying “Shrek 3″ stinks to high Heaven … just a lower cloud right below Heaven. There were maybe four or five jokes funny enough to elicit laughter. Otherwise, I was tempted to take a nap or see if I could work up the urge to go to the bathroom.

But like a good soldier, I stuck it out, found a comfortable position in my movie seat and waited for the seconds to go by until the movie would be over.

If you liked both films that came before this in the franchise, you’ll undoubtedly like this one too. If, like me, you had gotten over the premise of the series, there’s nothing worth seeing here.

I’m going to be generous to the film because I honestly think there are those who aren’t tired of Shrek, Donkey and his pals and serve up a 2 out of 5.

Maybe if there hadn’t been a second film already, this would have been okay. There’s just nothing new to see here, and aside from laughing at the idea of Justin Timberlake recording his voice over with the same glee his character was portraying on screen, I’d rather have watched the first film another time.