Yo Yo Girl Cop
Apparently, the chic way to show off your yo yo is by also flexing your biceps.

Theatrical Release Date: 07/30/2006 (Japan), 07/17/2007 (USA DVD)
Director: Kenta Fukusaku
Cast: Aya Matsuura, Shunsuke Kubozuka, Yui Okada

Starting off the New Year with a thud, Elizabeth Edgemont and myself popped this Nippon wonder into the old DVD player and all I can say for sure is that I’m glad I rented this on DVD instead of picking up the previously viewed copy I saw in the store.

I knew this was going to fall into one of two categories, hilariously bad or just bad, from looking at the cover art on the DVD and reading the synopsis (Essentially, a teenage undercover agent must stop a terrorist plot at a high school). Sadly, this failed to truly deliver the funny while certainly baffling the senses.

In doing very limited research in Al Gore’s virtual creation, I found that this was based on some previous films/anime and that makes a lot of sense, since the movie didn’t.

Often, characters would confront one another, beginning the scene with one emotion and then manically shifting to another with no clear rationale. Also, since I’m not fluent in any other language than some basic American, I was relying on the subtitles to tell me what was happening (and no, I’m not re-watching this dubbed to possibly clarify things). The funny thing about the subtitles is that they might not be entirely accurate.

How do I know this, after already confessing to my monolinguistic tendencies? Well, in watching the trailer included on the DVD and comparing the scenes, the subtitles were different and it’s my assertion that the ones in the trailer are more accurate than in the film since apparently “yo yo” is not a Japanese word.

Anywho, getting on to carving up the rest of the movie – the acting is overhanded, the special effects team obviously lacked funding or any great technical know-how, the fighting is equivalent to a high-school production of “Rush Hour 3″ and the script is a mess.

In checking out the credentials of Kenta Fukusaku, I’m sorry to see this happen since he was a second unit director on the fabulous “Battle Royale”. He also directed the sequel (conveniently titled “Battle Royale II”) but I’ve yet to view that little gem so I can’t cast aspersions at the moment.

I doubt you’re reading this with any great delusions about how I’m going to sum up the movie. I’ll just get it over with and let you move on to something more productive, like a splenectomy. “Yo Yo Girl Cop” gets a 1 out of 5, escaping the bag of hammers by virtue of being just confusing and terrible enough to elicit some laughter. However, there are clearly better films out there and it shouldn’t take more than a dart or two to find them.