Soapbox

Harry Potter 7-2 Poster
Doo … do, do, do … do, do, dooo …


Although each adventure with Harry, Ron and Hermoine begins with the WB logo floating towards the audience, the dementors studio execs felt that wasn’t enough. They think audiences NEED the almighty third dimension and have cried out, ‘Accio Wallets’!

So, in a move more transparent than an eager Hollywood starlet’s dress on the red carpet, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2″ will officially be presented to anxious audiences in glorious 3D.

Now, I realize that most of my rants have concerned this new filmmaking trend/phase/evolution. The reason being is that audiences are basically paying to be guinea pigs. Good 3D can elevate the film experience and, until 3D televisions become established, help to further the difference in watching movies at home versus in a movie theater. But the art hasn’t been perfected yet and still, studios expect audiences to plunk down another few dollars for the right to wear arguably comfortable tinted glasses inside a dark theater.

To be fair, there has been some good 3D that makes the extra cost worth it and I’ll name every one of them: “Coraline” & “Jackass 3D“. Every single other film presented in 3D either botched the job entirely (“Clash of the Titans“), made no substantial difference (“Toy Story 3“), tried to hide the flimsiness of the story (“Avatar“), or did all three of those things (“The Last Airbender“).

It’s no secret that the Harry Potter franchise is near and dear to my heart. I regularly rewatch the films and make sure to do a Blu-ray marathon of them all prior to the latest release. Having just seen “Deathly Hallows: Part 1″, I was thankful there wasn’t enough time before the release date to convert it into the third dimension. For one thing, the film is excellent and doesn’t need a gimmick to make the experience better. For another, a rushed 3D conversion would just dull the color palette (which is already dark but for a reason) and distract me from the wonderful film itself.

I’m one of those morons who even paid to see “Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince” in 3D IMAX, only to learn what bamboozling was going on. For that cash-grab, it was only the first 15 minutes or so that were in 3D (a visual prompt told us we could take our glasses off at that point) and since the movie wasn’t shot with IMAX cameras, there’s no additional benefit to the format. (Like 3D, IMAX is only beneficial if they actually use the technology while shooting; i.e. “The Dark Knight“.)

While I’m sure this will fall on deaf ears, I implore those in power to forgo making “Harry Potter and the Search for More Money” (all due respect Mel Brooks) and just let director David Yates and his crew give fans the resolution they deserve. There’s plenty of drama and action and emotion to be experienced, revel in that notion rather than a quick buck rabid audiences will fork over out of blind obsession. I’d rather use that extra money towards a second ticket rather than those stylish glasses.

So stop it, will you?

Please?

Pretty please?

Crap.