Jonah Hex
Camera one … Camera two … Oh, who cares – she’s hot no matter what.

Theatrical Release Date: 06/18/2010
Director: Jimmy Hayward
Cast: Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Megan Fox, Michael Fassbender, Will Arnett, John Gallagher Jr., Aidan Quinn

To satisfy my own ego, this film review will be done on a word per minute of runtime basis (80 if you’re counting) … beginning … now:

In “Jonah Hex”, Josh Brolin plays a slightly supernatural civil war veteran bent on revenge against John Malkovich, who’s responsible for his family’s death.

What should be a simple, fun action flick about revenge (sporting only 9 minutes of Megan Fox’s supple physique), is instead an exercise in being bored.

Unless you’re experimenting on how quality of time spent relates to length of time elapsed, “Jonah Hex” is best left off your radar and earns a 1.5 out of 5.