Re-enacting the “To the Pain” speech from “The Princess Bride” is redundant. I already watched this movie.

Theatrical Release Date: 03/30/2012
Director: Tarsem Singh
Cast: Julia Roberts, Lily Collins, Armie Hammer, Nathan Lane, Jordan Prentice, Mark Povinelli, Joe Gnoffo, Danny Woodburn, Sebastian Saraceno, Martin Klebba, Ronald Lee Clark, Sean Bean
Rated: PG for some fantasy action and mild rude humor.
Runtime: 1 hour, 46 minutes


Who decorated this room? Prince?

“Mirror Mirror” is a confusing movie. The marketing can’t stop saying what a great family film this is. And yet, it’s directed by Tarsem Singh, whose previous films are “Immortals”, “The Fall“, and “The Cell”. It casts Julia Roberts in a role that requires her to be evil … but it’s Julia Roberts so that only goes so far. And it may have beaten “Snow White and the Huntsmen” to a release date, but it carries no real sense of freshness outside of Singh’s visuals.

Huh. That’s pretty much the review in a nutshell.

Attempting to make this more than a one-paragraph review, I’m sure there are plenty of people who will find some charm in this, as the dwarfs are a fun bunch (though the renaming of them in order to de-Disneyfy things felt like a 6-year old chose things). Armie Hammer does an okay job of playing a slightly vain Prince who learns that Snow White isn’t quite the helpless damsel he’s used to saving. And Lily Collins exudes sweetness and bears an uncanny likeness to Audrey Hepburn.

Still, the whole affair is rather bland and there isn’t much point in dissecting things any further. The only elements of life are the darker touches Singh injects but they’re at odds with the overall attempt to make this a family friendly film. This isn’t the train wreck I had been expecting but if I want a live action fairy tale, I’ll toss “Enchanted” into my Blu-ray player. “Mirror Mirror” hit all the familiar marks and Singh attempted to add his spin on things but that style works better when you’re not worried about the pre-teen set and this gets a 3 out of 5.

Here’s hoping Kristen Stewart doesn’t wreck the next Snow White movie, which looks to be a far more interesting take on this tale.

3 out of 5