I can see my house from – Hey! Someone burned it down!


Theatrical Release Date: 03/30/2012
Director: Jonathan Liebesman
Cast: Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Rosamund Pike, Toby Kebbell, Edgar Ramirez, Danny Huston, Bill Nighy, John Bell
Rated: PG-13 for intense sequences of fantasy violence and action.
Runtime: 1 hour, 39 minutes


Trailer:

Does this armor make me look fat?

Blah Blah Meh. Blah Blah Meh. For all intents and purposes, that’s pretty much the entire review for the sequel no one was asking for, “Wrath of the Titans”.

It’s no surprise this got made, seeing as the international market appears willing to purchase a ticket for any movie with big explosions and a large CGI budget – no matter how mediocre the script, direction, or acting. I’m just wondering if there will be a point at which studios stop pushing so hard to attempt a profit domestically and focus more outside the states, where typical film production budgets wouldn’t cover the catering on these big effects-driven affairs.

But I digress.

In “Wrath of the Titans”, Sam Worthington is back as Perseus, the demi-god sired by Zeus on one of his oats-sowing expeditions among us mortals. This time around, it’s the Gods who need his help to stop Cronus – the Titan who was father to Zeus, Hades, and Poseidon. Along the way, we meet another demi-god (Toby Kebbell playing a less manic version of Russell Brand), watch as Perseus and Andromeda (Rosamund Pike) poorly hide their affections for one another, wonder why the screenwriters though introducing Perseus’ son was a good idea, and lament at the short screen time available for Hephaestus (because it’s Bill Nighy). Big battles ensue and there is 3D to marginally appreciate.

Really, if you’ve watched the trailer you’ve gotten all you need to get. All but one or two of the major fight scenes are in there and no one interested in watching this cares one iota about the script … and if they do, I’d suggest lowering those mysterious expectations. The entire film is a rather bland journey from Point “Whatever” to Point “I Still Don’t Care”. Kebbell and Nighy are the only bright spots and are very much ancillary characters, taking a backseat to Worthington’s worthless attempt at character development and a whole lot of visual effects.

Speaking of which, the effects are decent and considering the first film in this rebooted franchise is the poster child of how 3D conversions can go wrong, this time around the filmmakers got it mostly right. Some scenes presented excellent depth and a number of sharp weapons and falling objects pop off the screen.

Still, the only demographic with U.S. citizenship that should be at all interested, and more importantly, that will be at all satisfied, are the teenage boys who just want explosions and monsters. The character design is cool but any average gamer will find far more depth of story and entertainment in any of the “God of War” games. And as I opened this review, so will I end it: Blah Blah Meh. Blah Blah Meh. “Wrath of the Titans” delivers the mediocrity one expects and is little more than a empty pit for people to throw their money into, which gets it a 2.5 out of 5.

2.5 out of 53D Yes